BRAHMACARIS AND GRIHASTAS

The spiritual orders are divided into four āśramas–
brahmacarya – the student life, gṛhastha – the householder’s life,
vānaprastha – the retired life, and sannyāsa – the renounced life

BRAHMACARIS UND GRIHASTAS

Śrīla Prabhupāda says, that there are two types of brahmacārīs, namely those who have taken the vow of celibacy and completely abstain from all sexuality and have no relations with women, and the gṛhastha-brahmacārīs, or those who have a regulated sex life with their wife, according to fixed rules, who did not use their sex life for any purpose other than begetting Krishna conscious children, those are called gṛhastha-brahmacārīs.

A brahmacārī practices celibacy, controlling his sex life. One cannot enjoy unrestricted sex life and practice yoga; this is rascaldom. So-called yogīs advertise that one can go on enjoying as one likes and simultaneously become a yogī, but this is totally unauthorized. It is very clearly explained here that one must observe celibacy. Brahmacaryam means that one leads his life simply in relationship with Brahman, or in full Kṛṣṇa consciousness. Those who are too addicted to sex life cannot observe the regulations which will lead them to Kṛṣṇa consciousness. Sex life should be restricted to persons who are married. A person whose sex life is restricted in marriage is also called a brahmacārī.

MEANING OF BRAHMACARI

Lecture on BG 6.11-21 — New York, September 7, 1966:
And brahmacāri-vrate sthitaḥ. Brahmacāri-vrata means celibacy, no sex life at all. Completely prohibited. Brahmacārī. Brahmacāri-vrate. Vrata means with a vow that “I’ll have no sex life,” with a vow. Such person can execute yoga system.

TWO TYPES OF BRAHMACARI

Lecture on BG 6.11-21 — New York, September 7, 1966:
Brahmacārī, there are two kinds of brahmacārīs. One who is leading complete celibacy, complete free from sex life, he is called brahmacārī. Another brahmacārī is gṛhastha-brahmacārī. He has got his wife, but he has no other understanding with any other woman. And that wife also only, I mean to say, relationship is performed under regulation, he is also brahmacārī. One who has his relationship with wife under rules and regulation and does not know any other woman, he is also brahmacārī. That is also called brahmacāri-vrata. And one who lives complete celibacy life, that he is also brahmacārī. So that brahmacāri-vrata is essential for yogi. Brahmacāri-vrata.

SB 3.28.4, Purport:
A brahmacārī practices celibacy, controlling his sex life. One cannot enjoy unrestricted sex life and practice yoga; this is rascaldom. So-called yogīs advertise that one can go on enjoying as one likes and simultaneously become a yogī, but this is totally unauthorized. It is very clearly explained here that one must observe celibacy. Brahmacaryam means that one leads his life simply in relationship with Brahman, or in full Kṛṣṇa consciousness. Those who are too addicted to sex life cannot observe the regulations which will lead them to Kṛṣṇa consciousness. Sex life should be restricted to persons who are married. A person whose sex life is restricted in marriage is also called a brahmacārī.

THE 4 DIVISIONS

Prabhupāda: Brahmacārī. We have got four divisions. Those who are not married, they are called brahmacārīs. And those who are married, they are called gṛhasthas. And those who are retired, they are called vānaprasthas. And those who are renounced, they have no connection with anything worldly, they are called sannyāsa. Just like I am a sannyāsī. Sannyāsī mean I have got my family, I have got my wife, children, grandchildren in India, but I have no connection with them. I live alone.

It is called sanātana-dharma or varṇāśrama society, who very strictly follow the four divisions, social divisions of varṇa—brāhmaṇa, kṣatriya, vaiśya, śūdra—and four divisions of spiritual life—brahmacārī, gṛhastha, vānaprastha, and sannyāsa. So our, the Vedic system is called varṇāśrama. Varṇa means the social order. Āśrama means spiritual division. Therefore those who are following strictly the Vedic principle, that family life is called gṛhastha āśrama. Āśrama. Whenever you add this word āśrama there is spiritual significance. So all the division-brahmacārī, gṛhastha, vānaprastha, and sannyāsa—they are known as āśrama. Anyone can understand āśrama.

So it is recommended in the human form of life, first of all training as a brahmacārī, then he may remain as gṛhastha for sometime. The life is divided into four parts, twenty-five years. Suppose I live a hundred years: twenty-five years to become brahmacārī, remain as brahmacārī, and twenty-five years to remain as gṛhastha, family man, and twenty-five years as vānaprastha and twenty-five years as sannyāsa. This is system, Vedic system. Sannyāsa means vānaprastha is the prepāration for sannyāsa, and sannyāsa means completely dedicated to the service of Kṛṣṇa. This is our system.

Room Conversation — December 12, 1970, Indore:
Prabhupāda: That is āśrama. So that āśrama, when a student follows the regulative principles, he is supposed to be situated in brahmacārī āśrama. A householder living with family, husband, wife, children, if they are following strictly the regulative principles—gṛhastha āśrama. Similarly, retired life, if he is following the regulative principles—the vānaprastha āśrama. Similarly, a renounced life, sannyāsa, if he is following the regulative principles, that is sannyāsa āśrama. Not that imitating somebody, I put on a saffron dress and I become a sannyāsī and by begging I live. This has killed the whole Hindu society or the sanātana-dharma society.

SEX LIFE

Darsana — June 28, 1971, San Francisco:
Those who are gṛhasthas, they can have sex life only for producing children, that’s all, no more. And those who are sannyāsī, brahmacārī, they have no sex life, there is no question of sex life. Sex life is prohibited. But it is a concession for them who cannot live without sex life. That is married life. Otherwise, sex life is not very important thing. Just like there are brahmacārīs, sannyāsīs, they have no sex life. Therefore, this sannyāsa, to go out of home by force, that means to avoid sex life, sannyāsa. You see?

Prabhupāda: Sex life we are not stopping. But sex life allowed only to the gṛhasthas, householder, restricted. Not illicit sex. We are not stopping sex life. Sex life is required. But under rules. And if you enjoy illicit sex, then the whole society is spoiled. You make the innocent girls spoiled. And they have no other business than prostitution. That means you put the society into chaotic condition.

A GRIHASTA IS BETTER

This gṛhastha, vānaprastha, these are material regulative principles. Real life is Kṛṣṇa’s service. That we have to do, that’s all. So whatever position is suitable for you, you accept. You remain as a gṛhastha, remain as sannyāsī, remain as brahmacārī as it becomes suitable for you, but preach. That is the main business. If you lacking in preaching and become a sannyāsī, what is the use of sannyāsa? Better… A gṛhastha is better.

Darsana — June 28, 1971, San Francisco:
Prabhupāda: Preaching work is for the guru. So Kṛṣṇa… Caitanya Mahāprabhu says it doesn’t matter whether he is a gṛhastha or vānaprastha or a brāhmaṇa or śūdra. It doesn’t matter. If he knows what is Kṛṣṇa consciousness and preaches, then he is guru. That’s all. So we have to become like that. It doesn’t matter what we are, but whether I am preaching nicely. That is required. But still there is some regulative principles like sannyāsī and brahmacārī will be like this, gṛhastha will be like this. That is the external. But the main business is preaching. So you have got good opportunity, you have got good name, Kṛṣṇa consciousness movement, it is being appreciated. So live very cautiously and preach very cautiously and seriously, then in this one life you will become successful, go back to home, back to Godhead.

HUSBAND AND WIFE

Interview with the New York Times — September 2, 1972, New Vrindaban:
Prabhupāda: Well, it is still man’s duty to become the husband and woman’s duty to become the wife; so these propensities are there. But all this can be adjusted. I have many students and am getting them married, and they are living peacefully and advancing in Kṛṣṇa consciousness. Not that everyone is brahmacārī. We have many gṛhasthas and children. In this way the propensities of the women and those of the man are adjusted. A man wants a woman, and a woman wants a man, so we say, “All right, take it. Live peacefully, but don’t change partners.” We don’t allow divorce; once they’re married there is no separation. Nor do we allow boys and girls to live together as friends. If a man wants a woman and a woman wants a man, they should become united by marriage, live peacefully and advance in Kṛṣṇa consciousness. That is our proposal. In this way all facilities are there in this movement. Our program is to make people become godly, and everyone should help us. Every sane man should help this movement for the good of society.

DIFFERENCE BETWEEN GRIHASTA AND SANNYASI

Room Conversation with Indian Guests — July 11, 1973, London:
What is the difference between gṛhastha and sannyāsī? He lives with his wife. Gṛhiṇī gṛham ity āhuḥ. Gṛhiṇī means “the wife is gṛha.” So if the wife is favorable, devotee, then there is no use of giving up family life. That’s all. We have got so many married couples. Just like this boy. He’s married. His wife is there. They are favorable. Both husband and wife, they have dedicated life for Kṛṣṇa. So it is very nice. It is not that he has to become sannyāsī. No. Why? There is no necessity. Gṛhe vā vanete thāko. Either you become sannyāsī or gṛhastha, the life must be dedicated for Kṛṣṇa. That’s all. That is required. And for Kṛṣṇa’s sake, if we have to give up something, is that very difficult job?